Director M. Night signs Actor M. Night to Three Picture Deal

With all of the negative press surrounding M. Night lately, I thought this story was hilarious.  Evan sent this along to us, so we thought we’d share it with you, the fans.  Yes, it is a parody article, and is completely ficticious, and that’s just part of the fun.  Read on!

Dateline Hollywood: Seeing to secure the guarantee of the services of his favorite actorfor his next several films, director M. Night Shyamalan has signed actor M. Night Shyamalan to a three-picture deal worth $15 million.

“Though he sometimes gets less attention than bigger name stars, Night has been the secret weapon that takes my brilliant material and makes it spectacular,” Shyamalan said. “I can’t imagine doing my films without myself.”

Under the terms of the unusual deal, any studio that hires M. Night Shyamalan to write and direct any of his next three films will also have to cast M. Night Shyamalan in a lead role, pay him $5 million and guarantee him above-the-title credit.

Though his latest movie, “Lady in the Water,” opened to a disappointing $18 million, Shyamalan the director said he was confident word-of-mouth on the actor Shyamalan’s performance would soon start spreading around the country.

[Read the rest at Dateline Hollywood]


  1. First of all, i want my money back for “the village” and “lady in the water” This dude hasn't had a good movie since the “sixth sense” although “signs” was alright, but the media depict all of his movies as horror movies. All of them aren't even close to a horror movie other than “the sixth sense.” M Night shamalamdingdong should stop writing, stop directing, and most importantly stop acting!!!!!!! in all of his movies. He's a horrible director, and an even more horrible actor! Get out of the business and stop wasting ur time and everyone else's…..ass.

  2. you sure are a sucker. you dont like 1/2 of his films, but you still go see them? here's an answer! dont see them! dont spend your $8 bucks! you wont have to waste your time by seeing them, then going to one of his fan sites and wasting your time commenting on how you dont like him! If only you had the will-power to stand up for your opinions and not see films you know you're not gonna like. if only.

  3. It really amazes me tht people who don't like his films find time to watch them and above all come searching for message boards or fansites to whine.


    U sure are a douche Mr. John.


  4. It takes a person with insight and morals with hope for a better world to really understand him.

    People who go and call other people asses on forums has neither.

  5. Obviously this person (John) expects the same thing the critics want… Sixth Sense 2: The 7th Sensejavascript:insertext(':wassat:','short'). If you want the same typical, formated, canned, basic, and boring movie go to the rotten tomatoes site and look for the highest rating. You will be super satisfied with any of the movies those brilliant critics did not direct. M. Night movies are not for the easily pleased and soft brained.

  6. Why can't they be nice?

    Oh, I know why. They're JEALOUS.

    They only have cold and cruel sarcasm while Night has everything from acting talent and master storytelling abilities to good looks.

    This was the best film I ever watched in my life and I'll never be the same as I was before.

    And what does the author of that article have? A couple laughs from idiots who'll never know the power of imagination and the truth behind the fairytale. Drones.

  7. :angry: :angry:.. u know to all the so called intellectuals, who find his movies so stimulating.. BLOW ME!! i am a normal person who was less than enthused with his last 3 outings but advertising n tease spots being what they r.. i thought this could b the real deal.. this douche has ripped me off 4 the last time.. ur a twat shymalan!!

Comments are closed.